photogrammatical

Jeff Delgado and I went to high school together. He was a talented artist even then, and seems to have only gotten better over the last decade. I remember senior year, one of his illustrations won some big award and they made posters of it. He gave me one and I asked him to autograph it for me. My mother was going through some sort of compulsive framing phase at the time. She had it professionally framed and hung it in her guest bathroom over the display of little soaps and hand towels no one can use. If you’ve washed your hands at my mother’s house in the last ten years I’m sure you’ve noticed it. That framed poster hanging behind you in the mirror.

Jeff saw my silly self portrait on FB and painted his own rendition of it, which I like more than my photograph. You can check out more of Jeff’s paintings here:

http://jdelgado.deviantart.com

For the past five years or so, I’ve participated in the Relay For Life. The Relay is a community fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. It’s a 24 hour event usually held on the track of a local school. Teams set up base camps around the track and then keep at least one member of their team walking at all times. It’s not uncommon for people to complete marathons at these things. One guy from the Disney team did 60 miles this year!

However, I think my level of participation seems undervalued when measured in miles. I like to help keep morale up back at base camp. I make sure the EZ-Up doesn’t blow away. I keep riff-raff away from the snack table. I keep the contraband hidden, the drinks refreshed, and at Midnight Bingo I play to win.

Lara M. is the Team Captain of Sandee’s All-Stars. Our team is named for Lara’s sweet Mother, whom we lost just a few months ago. This picture was taken at the Relay two years back. I left the camera at home this year.

There are parts of these events that make me uncomfortable. There are segments where they seem to try to force a mixture of celebration and mourning. (Or “remembrance” for all you politicians.) I’ve never felt the two went well together. I feel the same way about a lot of Veteran’s Day events. I’ll take my moments of silence when I lay awake in bed at night, thanks. Not out in front of God and everyone. Nor do I need an empty table to remind me of who’s missing, as if their absence wasn’t burden enough.

We carry our dead around inside of us. That’s how tragedy works. That’s how mourning works. I prefer to deal with mine away from others, that’s what I’m comfortable with…

But the Relay isn’t about my comfort level, and neither is Veteran’s Day really. Both are about supporting the survivors. Those who’ve survived the disease, survived a war, or survived their loved ones.

That I can show up for, year after year.

Hannah A., Perpetual Member of the Torrey Honors Institute.